It was after the first quarter of her life was over; she happened to realize that she was not living her life in its true essence. Rather, she was living the “idea” of a perfect life that everybody and everything around, had imposed upon her for ages. It was then, she realized, that, instead of setting a stage for her life to perform, she was repeatedly drawing milestones to achieve, just based on what this world bestowed as best for her. So she ended up living in her imagination, fear, and suffering, whenever she failed to arrive at the milestone – that perfect picture.
She was constantly running and chasing as though there ever existed a milestone, because, the more she ran towards it, the more it started growing farther and farther away from her. She was bruised, yet she kept running towards it.
She kept chasing.
Until one day when she was too tired to even get up and run anymore.
Until one day when she finally realized that the milestones were mere mirage.
She took so long, so so long to stop and look back. And when she looked back, she found the life – the life that she had left far behind. And so, she decided to walk back, even if it is going to be slow. Because she knew, she was going HOME!
Almost all the time, I can see my life happening only in my head – in my mind, thoughts, imagination, and memory. My present moments are a collective consequence of my past and a prediction of the future, solely fear based. While everybody around me knows answers to most of the questions, and seem to progress somewhere in life, I am here constantly baffled with what life actually is. Consistently questioning and constantly confused. Am I lost? Yes! But I feel found, I feel home and I feel closer to life and myself more than ever before. Not the same person I was 5 years ago, not the same person I was even a month ago. This is my attempt to journal my intimate experiences with life, and I would like to call it, Coming Home.