Over the past few years, I have had many people mock at me for meditating and doing yoga, some saying that I am too young for that while few others scared that they might lose me somewhere down that line. They either wanted me to party or get married. And some even mocked at me saying that someday I might go and sit on the Himalayas, not knowing that my longing to do so is much deeper than their willingness to live their life itself. For so long, I only wrote my altered perceptions of life, but today I want to write the path itself and what spirituality and that longing means to me.
Why meditate, people, ask me? Meditation has its many many benefits to it. But what meditation was for me over the past few years was more than that. Many, if I say out loud, would sound esoteric. But here is my attempt,
Noisier it was, as I sat down – though there was no one in the room, with my eyes shut in the darkness.
As the breath started getting deeper and shallow, the noise gently vanished and soon became very distant.
I could still feel the ground, the chillness and the steadiness of it all.
As the breath slowly started finding its place to settle somewhere deeper, the every felt sense became very distant.
There I was sitting like a lump, swirling swamp of energies, like a whirlpool in the water.
As the breath found its righteous place, the whole system paved its way to just be.
And so there comes a stillness that cannot be put into words, and words do not exist there.
Just a being, just an eye, witnessing everything here, from behind me!
As esoteric as it may sound, meditation opens up the door to different dimensions and perceptions of life. The vastness of this existence and the realization that we do not know anything will be humbling in many ways. And so this existence and this life will slowly draw your attention. And so you will see the content of the mind repetitive, accumulative, and just all over the place. All it takes is a total surrender to just sit and experience the beyond/science/god or whatever one wants to call it. When what we think we know is more significant than what there is, when the ignorance is so much more bigger than what there is, then it always is human-doing rather than human-being, even if we close our eyes and sit.
Walking this path was not easy – to unlearn and shed, but it altered my perceptions. Life till death, many many activities may come and go, but this inner transcendence is forever – an everlasting fragrance. I have died a thousand times to be here in this place, and this is my path. That, for me, is spirituality and so I meditate.
Beautiful 🙂