When I did my Master’s in Computer Science, I remember I barely attended any classes. And the ones that I attended, I found difficult to follow, because I felt like they lacked depth, essence, storytelling, and charisma. One might argue that it is “Masters” and it is supposed to be “Advanced”. I agree, but my problem was not it being advanced but rather abstract. So I studied most of the subjects by myself. Image analysis, which was a subject with lots of equations – I started with electrons, protons, and neutrons and built my way up. Computer architecture, which was a subject full of circuits, I started from AND – OR gate and built my way up. This is not to brag, but my slow and 32-year-old realization as to how my brain works. It knows how to question, what questions to ask, to dig deep, and to start from scratch. It loves depth, rather than abstraction.
Earlier in school, I was a dabbler. I dabbled in everything, art, sports, dance, cultural, public speaking, and academics – I was good at all of them. My school fed my quest and thirst – and it was not focused on how much I scored. Maybe that is why, to this day I love those days, since I was able to just be. And then the environment stepped in and wanted me to choose, and be specific. And today, after many years of an attempt to specialize, here I am again dabbling and diving deep into many things I kept away from. My generalistic – polymath’ic brain wants to assimilate too many things I am interested in. And my interests are growing by the day. I was told that I am inquisitive – Yes, I am painstakingly inquisitive.
The story about my almost self-taught Master’s degree was to express how generalists and
polymaths can be put in any environment and they would be ready to start from scratch and want to learn – the “want to learn” that I have mentioned in all of my job interviews. This post is to share my agony of being one pain-in-the-ass, generalist/polymath. I always have my hands full of things to do – and they are all interesting. It is exhausting sometimes. Looking back, I want to master all the things I have already spent so much time on – but what do I do with the new ones coming in?! If someone asks me, what do you do?! Should I tell them, I am an Engineer, Artist, Psychologist, Spiritualist, Philosopher, or what?! If I am an Artist, then what am I?! A traditional artist that does charcoal, acrylic, watercolor, gouache OR an Illustrator, that does digital illustrations, 2d animations, or wanna-be 3d-animator?!
I have always sulked at being a “Jack of all trades”. This self-inquiry was a result of
my trying to probe into questions like –
1. What is my purpose and what do I have to offer?
2. What do I want to specialize in or be a master of?
3. Will I ever be as good as them?!
And I know all these questions go against the way I am wired. But maybe this realization will get me to accept who I am. In the current times of growing distractions, I am still questioning if I ever could be a “Jack of all trades and a master of some”!
P.S: I am back at writing after 2 years. If you are a generalist who is on your own journey of self-discovery with similar kind of anguish – I see you.
If you are interested in too many things, I think it’s really fine. Not just fine, it’s great in fact! After all we have one life? What’s the point of doing just one thing and leaving one day if instead we can do, explore and experience as much as possible?
True dat. I was torn between 2 lines of thought.
1. It is one life, then what is that ‘one’ true purpose? What is my contribution?
2. It is one life, I would love to experience and experiment all my interests.
In my observation (roughly speaking), mostly specialists take the spotlight while generalists work behind the scenes (not true always). And the society pushes to be that specialist, to aim for promotions, big money and build unilaterally. Not to play a victim, but for a long time now I did feel all these unwritten rules within myself. I am slowly coming to terms with myself and learning to stop belly-aching about being a ‘jack of all trades’.